A Riddle

I have been recruited to play The Game. What clever strategy is needed when playing such a sport. The game is quite tricky. Like any game, you play to win. But there is a twist as the game progresses. If you win the game, you lose, and if you lose the game, you lose. Your opponent resembles a familiar face and is a grand competition; they are constantly warring against you. The Game is appealing in many ways because there are rewards when you reach each new level, but also penalties as you do the same. Those who play rarely end in a good state, but they become so competitive and determined that they do not mind the set backs- they only push on to win The Game that cannot be won.

When a letter is sent to draft you as a player, you must make a decision. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, is The Game worth all of the strife? Is The Game worth your very life?

Becoming More Human

The most vulnerable moments- the times when you show the very deepest of your soul to someone, is when you can conclude who you do and do not feel safe with. To let every wall crash down to a million concrete pieces, when you, with the little strength you have, can choose to keep up even a little of it as a protecting prison, is a rare and beautiful moment. There is nothing standing between your heart and your confidant's- only a pure stream of truth flows peacefully on. To feel safe with someone is a rarity, but when the safety is established, you are changed, just a little, into something more human than the robot you have been known to be.

Week of Happiness

I hate the bad things in life.

My recent hatred is formed from the hatred of memory loss, as in, when people get short term memory loss, or Alzheimer's or something. It is such a terrible disability. I wish I could cure it... The person who has it isn't aware of it, but those around them are, and it makes things very difficult emotionally and situationally.

I want a week of happiness.

Countdown

I turn 21 in 438 days.

To say "I cannot wait!" would be limiting the expression of my anticipation!

Needless to say, I am very very enthusiastic about turning 21... : )

Car...

Best news all day:

I GET TO KEEP MY CAR AT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am so surprised and so happy! This means many things! : )

Learned again today that...

Change is good. : )

Transatlanticism -- Death Cab for Cutie

The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how...

The clouds above opened up and let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere

When the water filled every hole.

And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,

Making islands where no island should go.

Oh no.

Those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.

I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.

The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flat lands to your door have been silenced forever more.

The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row

It seems farther than ever before

Oh no.

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer

So come on, come on

So come on, come on

So come on, come on

So come on, come on

Death is a devastating reality to come to terms with... I need you so  much closer...

College Semester Round 2

Classes have begun!

Classes I am looking forward to the most are:
1. Poetry and Poetics with Esther Chua. The class structure is quite abstract in comparison to how a class tends to be organized. We will be doing things that are hands on, which is the way I think I learn best- by experience. We get to read some of my favorite poets and I am just excited to learn in this way!

2. World Literature with Jo Suzuki. I am looking forward to all of the reading for this class. Also, I think that Suzuki, from what I have seen of him today, is someone that I enjoy being around! He is, at first glance, a very sweet and conservative older man, but when he starts to talk, his comments are hilarious and vicious, but in a loving way. My laughing quota for this semester will be met with abundance just from this class alone!

I am indifferent to my Critical Thinking & Problem Solving class with Claire Blackwell. However, there is one class that I am very intimidated by and, I suppose, would be on my "Not-so-excited-for" list. That class would be:

Studies in John Milton with Grant Horner. Don't get me wrong- I am looking forward to learning about John Milton and reading many of his works. However, I think that it will be a little over my head. I know that if I get anything less than an A in the class, I will be disappointed in myself. But I want to take the class anyway because it will be a good experience, I think. So, I am going to subject myself to the pain and agony of studying Milton and writing a 20 page paper on him, for a grade that won't be in the least bit impressive!

My enthusiasm for homework is quite strong right now. I hope that it lasts and that I do not become apathetic toward it. I love learning and I am sincerely thankful for the opportunity to go to college and get a degree!

Sigh...

I have never felt as incompetent as I did tonight. This is quite discouraging.

New Book, Classes, etc.

Today I started reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

So far I will say that the beginning was a little slow, but around pg. 40 the story started to pick up and is now a very intriguing read. Can't wait to finish it!

On a completely different note: classes start tomorrow. I am both enthused and nervous to start classes. We'll see what this semester has to offer!

Back to school, Back to school, to prove to my dad that I'm not a fool.

Laundry: If I am ever asked what my favorite chore is, my response would be laundry. The process of putting dirty clothing into a machine with soap and water, and having them come out clean and smelling like fresh flowers, makes me happy and comfortable. I enjoy doing laundry.

Organizing: If you know me, you know that I enjoy clean, organized space. I am not fond of clutter. When I am doing something, I am more motivated to get it done when the environment around me is clean and organized. Organization has become necessary for me if I want to do well.

Packing: This is a daunting task. Folding, wrapping, stuffing, placing, loading, etc. Packing is my least favorite of these three chores. The reason why is because I find it so pointless to pack everything away when you will unload the packing soon after its done.

This is my "I'm going back to school" blog, in case you hadn't gotten the point just yet. I leave for school tomorrow morning and I am looking forward to decorating my dorm room. I have a theme for it and its unlike anyone else's. I just can't wait to see the outcome. I'll post pictures when I am done decorating tomorrow!

Biggest fear about going back to school: I will not stay the strong and independent person that I am.
Biggest excitement: I get to put my all into school and learning. I am looking forward to growing in knowledge!

Well... back to the three chores... Laundry is almost done! This should be a productive day!

EXCITEMENT!

I am full of excitement for life! Its a secret now, but I have big news coming. I can't wait for it to come about and I am looking forward to change and adventure!

Waiting on the world to change...

I keep talking about how excited I am for the future. I know it probably gets repetitive, but I can't help it! I just can't believe how possible my dreams really are, and its encouraging to finally see them happening!

On a slightly different topic, I have gotten so addicted to change. I crave the thrill of change and unknown possibilities. The fact that engaging in a new activity brings about mystery and possibility gives me a rush of adrenaline. It's risky and thrilling! I don't really know whats happened to me because I used to be so opposed to change that it would make me sick to my stomach. But I don't know... its something that I really love now. So, I am changing my life. If all goes as planned, I will be in a very good place by this time next year! I just can't wait to see how everything works out!

I am embracing change because life is constantly shifting course. I look forward to going with whatever is brought into my path. Change is the only constant. Embrace it, or you'll be left behind.

Anyway... I love my life and I love living!

Ready for the mistakes...

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." -- Albert Einstein.

...

"Each person that we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line."

Dangerous

Ever wanted to do something dangerous without consequence? I do all the time...

Life. Change. Freedom.

Change.

Change is happening all around me. 2010 was the year of change. I went from being completely dependent on other people to being independent and strong. I went to college. I got my license. I lost friends and gained new ones. I have changed, almost completely, into a whole new person, and the change is continuing. I am beginning to realize what I want in life and how I need to go about getting it. There is a problem, though. I have been stuck in a world for the past 5 years that looks down on people getting an education, a career, a life. I am tired of being held down by the rules that molded me into a robot that was programmed to speak, do, and think only what she was told to do. But that funny thing is that I never once felt the "freedom" that other's said it would bring me.

I am continuing to change now in 2011. My life is becoming my own and I have never felt more free. There is so much that I cannot wait to experience and life seems to promising and bright! I am planning to do a lot to change my life this year, and, if everything goes as planned, it will be another year of change for the better!

Seriously Fed Up

People need to know that there is a fine line between advising someone on life, and trying to control their life.

Growing Up

"Part of growing up means making choices for yourself. Not based off of what other people think and their convictions, but what you believe to be good and true for you."

I Love New Things!

Today, I start reading blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcom Gladwell.

Should be a real good read! Hoping to finish it today too!

P.S. I really am going to post a review of the Tipping Point. Just haven't found the time to write it! But its coming!

Album of the Day: Waking Up by OneRepublic

Adults Make Decisions

I need to lose weight. Diet starts TOMORROW!


(Refrain from Commenting if its anything along the lines of "No you don't!"... Thanks!)


Oh the glories of being an adult and making my own decisions!